How to get unstuck
Do you feel stuck in life? Want to know how to get unstuck!? Well, keep reading friends because today is a good one.🤌 If you’re running on autopilot or going through the motions, there are ways you can get emotionally unstuck. Everyone feels stuck in life at some point, maybe there was an opportunity, promotion, move, or relationship you had your heart set on and your life didn’t move that way. It’s hard not to feel stuck, I’ve been there! Last month I had been waiting on this life changing opportunity that I truly felt was for me, and imagine how heart broken I was when I heard the producer say “everyone love you, but you’re too wholesome”. Wholesome?! Since when was wholesomeness a bad thing!? Anyways… I felt stuck, and there were a few things I started to do differently the last 2 months that have really helped me that may help you too!
Start by figuring out why you’re feeling that way in the first place, and then making a few changes to improve your mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Maybe your burnt out and resistant to change. The first step is to be self aware and then you can implement the tips I’m about to offer!
1) Become aware
A good starting point is awareness. Consider examining how your unconscious may be contributing to you feeling stuck. Some ways to become more aware include:
~ identifying defense mechanisms and cognitive distortions that are getting in your way
~ noticing default relationship patterns that cause you to recreate familiar cycles
While you can do some work on your own, it can be a lot. Consider finding a therapist to support you and help you tackle challenges.
2) Take responsibility
It’s natural to fall into the blame game from time to time. We have all been there. I blamed producers, other girls and men and even God for not giving me what I wanted (God doesn’t always give us what we want, but He will always give us what we need)… But blaming others for things that happen (or don’t happen) may lead you to feeling like you’ve given up all control of your life and choices.
3) Cultivate presence
It often feels like we’re being told to do more, be more. BUT we are already enough. When we follow the societal push to do more, we often start functioning on autopilot. You can switch off autopilot by practicing mindfulness techniques to help reroute your thinking from ruminating on the past or worrying about the future, to becoming rooted in the here and now. It may also help to take a step back and make decisions from a place of calm and clarity, rather than amid busyness and chaos.
4) Detach from unrealistic expectations
If you have a tendency toward perfectionism, imposter syndrome, or fear of failure, you may want to think of how this is getting in your way. This is KEY. Perfection is unrealistic, and more often than not us ourselves are the ones putting those unrealistic pressures onto ourselves. Even as I type this I am laughing at myself 😂 This is one of the areas in life I need the most improvement.
5) Choose self-love
You can invest in yourself by practicing self-love. You might want to start by silencing your inner saboteur. Try choosing to be your own best friend, rather than your worst critic. When you love yourself and practice self-compassion and self-care, it can help replenish your energy and motivation. For me self care isn’t all bubble baths and face masks, it’s making myself go to bed early even though I want to watch one more episode of Bling Empire. It’s switching up my workout routine to give myself the rest I need, ie. stretching instead of lifting, it’s listening to a podcast in the shower rather than top hits… not my fav but I definitely feel better haha. I’ve been listening to DTTOC linked here “ creating positive environments, when you’re going through hell don’t stop!”
6) Create a vision
There are many ways to develop a vision for what you want in life. Personally, I wrote out a list of goals for the year including what I’m most looking forward to. After that I break down mini goals to chase after that will help me achieve those higher goals (like working on TV or in SI Swim😉)
7) Practice Positive self talk!
Sometimes we can be our own worst critic. Ask yourself “what would my best friend say if they heard what I say to myself?” Ouch…
When to seek help
If the way you feel is affecting your ability to function, it can help to make an appointment with a mental health professional. Getting help is absolutely ok and is honestly vital in reducing the negative stigma around mental health. If you need resources please go look at my last post with a long list of free and assessable resources for those of you struggling.
Hope you learned something today and thank you for reading my friends!